My Daughter

This is my daughter's feet when I layed her down for a nap the other day.  That is mud from somewhere outside;  the garden, the neighbor's sandbox, the mud puddle in the driveway,  who knows!  

 

My daughter is sweet and loving and she is tough and sassy.  I love her from the top of my head down to my toes.  She brings so much happiness to our family and she has expanded our ability to show loves to one another. 

She has had so many milestones lately.  She is going pee in the potty (not potty trained, just keeping up with the big boys!).   This is mostly because we are trying to convince her older brother to do the same thing.  She picks up on stuff so quickly.  She went to nursery yesterday for the first time all by herself.  She looked so big when I peaked back through the door window to check on her.  I felt proud of her and grateful to have her in my life.  



Swimming with the brothers at Grammy's hotel


 When I think about what I want for my daughter I get overwhelmed with mostly my responsibility to be a good example to her.  I want her to be herself and love who she is no matter what.  I want her to have compassion and confidence and to shun vanity and embrace true beauty.  I want her to love others unconditionally and choose her closest friends carefully.  I want her to understand to her very core where true happiness comes from and radiate that to others.   I hope she make choices about how she uses her pain and experiences that will bring her closer to Heavenly Father.  I love her so much and can't believe she is a part of our life.

Roles

How do you feel about your role in your family or home?  Did you choose it, or was it assigned?  I am the oldest but in a family of only two siblings, so that doesn't really qualify me as an authority on oldest children.  I feel responsible for my family of origins decisions to this day and I am almost the big 4 0!  I feel uncomfortable with silence or when someone needs to step up and take charge.  I worry about family get togethers and being a good hostess even if it is not my party. 

I married a ''younger" sibling--2nd youngest of 9 to be exact.  It has been the best thing for me.  I am exploring a whole new world of sitting back and letting others make the decisions and doing the worrying.  It has been very therapeutic and annoying at the same time. 

My children are all confused in this business.  We have an oldest or "first born" child who is really a middle child right now and an oldest child (in this family) who is by birth the baby child right now.   The princess, well she is comfortably riding it out as youngest right now.  I worry regularly about what they may have to write on their blogs about or tell their therapists. 

I am told all the time that my current role in this family is very important.  I would have never imagined that I was solely responsible for filling up four tummies all day long, or picking up the same toys over and over, or teaching manners, or washing folding and putting away the same clothes over and OVER!  This is a very interesting role.  When this role changes I imagine that I will miss it, believe it or not.  Right now, I have to offer myself rewards to get through it, such as a little diet beverage from the gas station or a few moments alone with the door closed in the potty.   I just spent the morning making oatmeal, toast, sandwiches for lunch, cookies for lunch, driving to school, changing diapers, sweeping, spraying down 20 toes covered in mud, building a jump for a two dump trucks, folding the same basket of laundry twice, trying to read scriptures, swaddling a cabbage patch baby over and over.  I think it is time for a diet pepsi.